Q: What one thing can you do to enjoy success
in all aspects of your life?
A: Hold yourself personally responsible
for your success.
Personal responsibility is one debilitating obstacle that gets in the way for many of us.We recognize that unwanted pounds don’t melt away on their own, the love of our life isn’t delivered to our front door and our dream career doesn’t materialize overnight. Yet while weact responsibly to promote our employer’s success and our family’s well being, we often don’t maintain the same standards in pushing forth our own desires and dreams.
Consider these reasons to hold yourself responsible for your success:
·Control: You shift from a mindset of “I want greater success” to “My actions will create more success.”
·Opportunities:You recognize that it is your role to initiate your opportunities. You are not passively waiting for opportunities or good luck to land in your lap.
·Accountability: You see that the only thing standing in your way of creating success is yourself. You recognize that external challenges can be overcome with your focus and dedication to doing what it takes.
Steps to take this week to take responsibility for your success:
1.Consider your desires and dreams at the same priority level as your family responsibilities and job. Just like you wouldn’t ignore requests from your boss or fail to provide your child with health or school needs, don’t allow yourself to slack off on the steps you need to take to create your success.
2.Schedule time for the building of your success.You are in control of how you spend your time; don’t let it be your excuse. Put your necessary steps on your calendar and commit to them. Think of time as being the most important asset you have and invest it wisely. Always ask yourself if what you are doing is leading you to where you want to go.
A reduction in your income may impact many things, including how you perceive yourself, whether you are conscious of it or not. If you have prided yourself on financial success, your ability to feel good about yourself may be impacted as you battle a tough economy.
How to manage this challenge:
1.Remember that a successful life is not all about the money. Look for other non-monetary ways to define success.
Are you helping people?
Are you growing as an individual?
What are you contributing to your community or to the world that does not involve money?
2.Look back on your life to periods when you weren’t making as much money as you are now. Believe that you have the capability to increase your income level once again.
Is this an opportunity to start something new that could lead you to a better place?
Most of us approach our lives by way of our conditioning. That is, we make our decisions based on how we were taught. Unfortunately, many of the ideas that have been passed down through generations go against what we really need to do to create and maintain personal happiness.
Here are just a few misconceptions:
Misconception #1: If an established, secure job or relationship no longer makes you happy, something must be wrong with you.
Consider instead:Your life experiences have caused you to grow and change. You are not the same person as you were, so what you are no longer happy with may no longer be a fit.
Misconception #2: Following your heart anywhere except your love life is bound to get you in trouble. Use your rational mind to make decisions.
Consider instead: Your heart is connected to ideas and passions that you do not consciously select and which reside in your being. Think of your heart as the most accurate compass for your life decisions.
Misconception #3: Taking steps backwards financially should be avoided at all costs.
Consider instead: Improving your inner quality of life deserves as much an investment priority as upgrading your external environment and material possessions.
Misconception #4: Having a successful career doing what you love is an unrealistic fantasy that happens only to a lucky few.
Consider instead: What you love is what you are here to do. Expect that you can create a successful career doing it.
Being in between jobs doesn’t have to be experienced like the kiss of death. I know that it is natural to feel very vulnerable, yet that is what being in transition is all about. It’s the very point that you are temporarily unattached to a job that provides you with a rare freedom to ask yourself what you really want from your next adventure.
Key questions to ask yourself in between jobs:
1. How soon do I really have to land a job?
Can you afford some time to step back and evaluate what you really want from your career while you have the freedom and time to prepare yourself for it? Sure, it’s no fun watching your life savings take a downward climb, but is your time here really about the money?
Are you at a point in your life where you can afford to spend some time being selective about your next step or preparing yourself for a new path? Think of your career choices now as investments in your quality of life.
2: Would the jobs you are now searching for be top choices if you were just starting out?
You spend a majority of your waking hours at your job. Consider it like you would a romantic relationship. Are you willing to settle for second best just to be committed?
3: Is it possible to support yourself financially doing what you love?
Make a list of all the different ways you can generate income by doing what you love. Your financial support does not have to come from one income stream. Maybe one single role can’t generate enough money, but adding other roles that express your passions might make the necessary difference.
4. Are credentials getting in your way of going for jobs you really want?
Ask yourself if you are truly lacking what is necessary, or if credentials are a convenient excuse to protect you from risk or rejection. Research the kinds of credentials that others doing similar work have. If you don’t have what it takes, identify sources that can provide the appropriate credentials. Don’t make assumptions without checking the facts about the true requirements to do the work.
The underpinnings and support you build for yourself when you begin to implement change in your life are first challenged and often thwarted by what we perceive as obstacles that get in the way of our transition. If you can become aware of these obstacles, you give yourself the permission to change the meaning of the very obstacle(s) that stand in your way. Begin by redefining the word “obstacle”:
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. . . the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. . . they’re there to stop the ‘other’ people.”
Randy Pausch Carnegie Mellon Professor author of “The Last Lecture”
3 Common Types Of Obstacles
In Susan Hanshaw’s“Inner Architect: How To Build The Life You Were Designed To Live” Phase 3 “Breaking Through Fear” contains a very important tool when considering your obstacles: Step 8 “Define What Lies Between You And Change.” Common types of obstacles to change:
1. Fears: Your thoughts about your ability to successfully create change
2. Limited Beliefs: What you think you are capable of acheiveing or becoming
3. Lack of Commitment: Not being completely dedicated to the work involved with the necessary steps
Ultimate Responsibility
Accountability for your actions and efforts is the ultimate responsibility we all have to ourselves.
“We can commit to becoming accountable and responsible to our jobs-careers, to our familiy and friends, yet we often don’t make that same commitment to ourselves.”
Susan Hanshaw Founder Inner Architect and author Inner Architect: How To Build The Life You Were Designed To Live
The answer to the question:If you could have dinner with anyone in history who would you choosejust changed for me. My choice would be Randy Pausch; but unfortunately that will not be possible.The Carnegie Mellon Professor, and Author of the remarkable and inspiring book “Last Lecture”, fought to the end but lost his battle with cancer passing away at the age of 47.
Life Pioneer
Randy Paush was a life pioneer, an inner architect of the truest sense, who valued and coveted his time here like nobody I have ever witnessed. You can not help but be touched or greatly effected by Randy Pausch. If you watch his greatest triumph (video below) the last lecture the youtube video of his final lecture “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” performed September 18, 2007 before a packed house at Carnegie Mellon University, you begin to understand the message: live life, embrace your obstacles, and triumph through your will
Please watch and embrace this video-it will be the best hour you have ever invested!
One of the most intricate and important parts of creating your new life or career is producing an action plan. In Susan Hanshaw’s Inner Architect: How To Build The Life You Were Designed To Live”, Phase 4 Creating Your Plan contains the tools to begin the process. The best tool to get started is Step 15 “Outline Your Training Process.”
Marketing Through Networking
One of the fastest and most effective methods to begin meeting people in the niche you wish to build your new career or life is via real world networking events and meetings
Webgrrls International
A great example of outlining your training process can be found at the networking groupWebgrrls.com. Webgrrls provides meetings and events with the following benefits:
1. Networking: you meet people in your niche 2. Introductions: you give your 1 minute “elevator” pitch a mini marketing message business plan 3. Practice: you hone your public speaking skills by participating 4. Support: members support each other’s goals and help bring ideas forward 5. Synergy: many members have synergy within their action plans and training plans
5 Steps For Identifying Your Training Process
In Susan Hanshaw’s exercise you are given a practical method of evaluating your training process:
1. Get Clarity: Define details of your service or product, develop a profile of your job description, and list your job duties 2. Identify Areas for Development: review your job duties and list specific areas for development 3. Research: find training opportunities, options for training and learning, don’t limit your path to education 4. Buy In: Choose training programs that resonate with you, that excite you, and commit your efforts 100% to that program(s) 5. Complete Training and Credentials: realize your training will require concentration and sacrifice. Focus on the rewards of training rather than your sacrifices
Webgrrl Attendees With Expertise
1. Nelly Yusupova: Founder Digitalwoman.com a successful a website development and Internet consultant practice started in March, 2004. Nelly is also the CTO for Webgrrls.com and Manhattan chapter president. Contact Nelly Yusupova at nelly@cgim.com
2. Naomi Most: Naomi is the talented producer behind LittleMovingPictures.com and a well versed programmer with experience in Python, Perl, PHP, SQL, XML, C/C++. Naomi’s company is so busy and expanding that they are looking for a wide variety of professionals from copywriters to engineers. Contact Naomi at naomi@littlemovingpictures.com
3. Beth Rogozinski: Director, Marketing Communications for devicescape.com the leader in software for secure and seamless WiFi internet access. Beth has 10+ years of experience in Public Relations, media relations, media event marketing and planning. Contact Beth for all of your enterprise or individual WiFi access needs beth@devicescape.com
4. Erin Clark: Account Manager Eastridge InfoTech a technology staffing firm in San Francisco. Erin is a vibrant and well connected human capital facilitator who matches talented technologist with their desired positions. A active member of ebig.com and thinkhdi.com, Erin is a market leader and go-to source of information. Contact Erin at eclark@eastridgeinfotech.com
5. Gayle Uchida: Business Development Manager Gayle is a joy to meet and learn from in her work with Lighthouse-sf.com. Lighthouse For The Blind is a non profit organization focussed on education and awareness effecting the vision impaired community. Gayle has over 20 years experience in Silicon Valley as a business development executive and marketing professional. Contact Gayle at guchida@lighthouse-sf.org
John Dalyhas long been one of the most talented players on the PGA tour. His accomplishments include being named Rookie of the Year in 1991, winner of the coveted PGA Championship in 1991, and he became the British Open Champion in 1995-his second “Major” title of his career. Along the way John has won a total of 18 Tournaments, 11 Long Drive Contest Titles, and is 84th on the All Time PGA Tour Career Money listaccumulating $9,082,342 in winnings.
What’s Not To Love?
John Daly appeals to the “every man” and regular guy. He is not a country club born and bred golfer coddled and nurtured amongst the life of the elite. He does not dress the part nor embrace the part of celebrity athlete. Instead John Daly is a genuine good hearted country boy born in Carmichael, California and raised in Dardanelle, Arkansas. His “rough and tumble” lifestyle, honest self assessment, and ongoing personal battles makes him a touchable and authentic star in a world of eccentric, ego maniacal sociopath-like personalities
Train Wreck or Car Accident?
Since the mid 1990’s John Daly has been living life by the seat of his pants, uncontrollably drinking, partying, and becoming the biggest obstacle in his life. One need only to look at his behavior to wonder is this man an utter train wreck or a major (but fixable) car accident? He has lived through:
1. Claims to have had a habit of drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey a day at age 23 2. Tossed off a British Airways flight for drunken and disorderly conduct 3. Divorced three times after becoming a tour professional 4. 3 visits to rehab centers including Betty Ford Clinic more to come?
Battle Rages On
John’s continued alcoholism and general abuse continued this week with a new controversy-a public spat with his former swing coach, well respected and superstar coach, Butch Harmon. Harmon “fired” Daly four months ago because Daly could “not clean up his act and show he was rededicated to the game of golf.”
“What Lies Between You And Change”
“I think it’s another case of John never wanting to look in the mirror and ake responsibility for his actions. He’s always looking to blame someone else. . . Until he can blame himself for his shortcomings, he’s always going to have a problem” Butch Harmonto San Francisco Chronicle July 17, 2008
1. Fears-The “hidden” pressures a public life places on a famous person may not be available for us to understand. Daly’s own fears may remain within himself yet manifest outwardly through erratic and self destructive behaviors and actions
2. Limited Beliefs- Hanshaw defines this as “What you think you are capable of achieving or becoming” and for Daly this could be a mantra. His own past bad experiences become the deterrent to changing his alcoholic destructive ways, obese eating habits, and horrific public behaviors. He doesn’t believe he deserves any better therefore he becomes his belief system-as do we all!
3. Lack of Commitment-As Butch Harmon’s quote so sadly yet accurately states, John is not taking responsibility for himself, respecting himself, or dedicating himself to the work involved in the necessary steps to changing his beliefs, behaviors, and ultimately his results
Heather Locklearwas America’s sweetheart at one time in her life. The creator of a superstar career on TV with a long running collaboration with mega TV producer Aaron Spelling, Locklear’s credits include the highly successful Dynasty, TJ Hooker, and super soap Melrose Place. Her popularity was so powerful that Spelling cast her in both TJ Hooker and Dynasty at the same time.
Whether playing a cop, a vixen, or a corporate exec in her role on “Spin City”, Heather seemed at ease with change and adapting to anything thrown at her.
Sadly as recently as March of this year stories began to surface about Locklear’s battle with anxiety and depression.
Culmination of a Battle
Heather recently checked herself into an unnamed Arizona “rehab” center for depression and anxiety. According to sources close to the actress she “requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment.”
“. . . she has had a rough year. . . she decided to heed doctors’ orders and re-evaluate her medical condition at an in-patient treatment facility.”
“She wanted to feel better and get to the bottom of what was troubling her” according to People.com sources
Statement of Support
In the most heartfelt statement of support, former co-star and new boyfriend Jack Wagner:
“Anyone who has the courage to seek help in order to live a healthy life gets my support 110 percent.”
“Considering Change”
In making the decision that she could not live her current life, Heather Locklear began the journey of becoming an inner architect. She applied Susan Hanshaw’s Phase 1’s“Recognize your choices” as her first step to reaching out for help
“Moving into Your New Life”
As Heatherhealsand begins to step into her new life she will come to the realization that it is not going to be an easy process, transition, or change.
In Susan Hanshaw’s Inner Architect: How To Build The Life You Were Designed To Live” we can see that she will be coming to grips with Phase 6 concepts:
1. The importance of claiming your new life and how to do it
2. How to break through the insecurities of being new (in your new way of life)
3. How to break through barriers to success (fears, old habits, comfortable associations)
Our Hopes For Change
We are pulling for Heather’s recovery and transformation. Although no location has been released, we are trying to send Heather our work as a token of our support, as a gesture of love, and as a road map of change.
inner architect 
